"Not-so-good-body"

I contemplated long and hard a title for this blog. Maybe my stories are laced with a comprehensive theme? Well as I'm contemplating, Gabriella comes in after coming home from seeing the new Anubis film with Susan. I ask her, "How was the film?" and rather than a simple "good" she takes the opportunity to tell me the entire plot accompanied by props, animated expressions and demonstrative gestures. She keeps referring to the antagonist of the film as the "not-so-good-body." I correct her each time, "You mean, the bad guy?" "Yeah!" she responds and then continues, "So, the not-so-good-body..." Cute. So that's the irrelevant title of my blog. I like it.

I can't let too much time pass between blogs. Too many significant events worth reporting occur and I start to forget details. I passed my one month mark as an au pair and am now about to begin week seven. The fall palette is beginning to appear on the tree leaves, mostly canvased by a gray sky with occasional appearences of the sun. Days are shorter and the air is cooler. **This sunshine state girl realizes she has taken sunny days for granted**

I started my Dutch language courses. It's an advanced beginners course so I am quite a bit behind. Only Dutch is spoken in the classroom so it's impossible for me to understand the instructor, therefore I need to do a lot of homework in order to catch up. Unfortunately I'm unmotivated to do any extra work. I had a study session with another au pair from Bolivia who lives nearby which was nice. On my first day of class 16 women showed up, no men. Now we have one older Turkish fella in the class, but it's basically a women's zone. A few au pairs are in my class. One is Romanian and is possibly the most miserable person I've ever met. She absolutely hates her job as an au pair and is extremely vocal about it. I find it funny, kind of sad and also encouraging that I am working in a much better situation than she. Another Canadian girl in class also goes to the Bikram Yoga studio I practice at and I also ran into one of my German classmates at the hockey pitch with her sons. I guess The Hague is smaller than I thought.

The highlights of my past few weeks are the weekends. Here are my last three weekends at a glance:

The last weekend of September we celebrated Susan's 40th birthday. She had a party for her girlfriends at her brother's beach restaurant. A diabolo expert with a sweet mullet (for you older generations that would be the hairstyle, not the fish) surprised us with an interactive exhibition. I've never seen so many middle-aged women so involved with a children's toy at once. At first I refused to participate in order to play photographer, but mostly with fear of lacking enough skill to keep the bolo rolling. Eventually I joined in and couldn't put the sticks down.









The diabolo [dia-BO-lo] is a kind of juggling prop derived from the ancient Chinese Yo-yo. The modern diabolo was developed by the French in the early 20th century but has recently made a comeback in schoolyards across the Netherlands. Greetje and Gabriella love practicing their diabolo tricks and are much better the rest of us adults.


Some of the family. Susan, the girls, sister Lizet and her husband Peterjan, and Susan's parents.



October came so quickly... and it's almost half October. Geeze.


The first weekend of October I spent in Utrecht. I stayed with my sweet friend Jojanneke at her flat. She is a very kind host. Saturday we met up with Tiffany and her boyfriend Ghaith.
Tiffany is the one who introduced me to this whole au pair business. We met at L'abri in March when she was visiting from Portland, OR her hometown. Now she works as an au pair in Woerden and we try to meet up often to vent to each other about our misbehaving children. Saturday the four of us strolled the beautiful streets of Utrecht and bounced from cafe to cafe to avoid the cold, damp weather. In the evening Jojanneke prepared a delicious vegetarian meal accompanied by Wieckse rosé (canned white beer with fruity wine... and it's quite tasty!).
Dinner was followed by a movie, Bridget Jones Diary, and a large bag of M&Ms mixed with popcorn. STOMACH ACHE. Sunday Jojanneke and I visited the Anglican church in Utrecht. Very nice liturgical service with a harvest time theme. Enjoyed a nice lunch afterwards with Rike, a friend from L'abri we happen to run into. The afternoon we went to the cinema to see another chick flick, The Accidental Husband. Strange title, since there was nothing accidental about it.

And the weekend that just passed was quite nice also. Friday I babysat the children, but I had Ammeret over for dinner. After we ate the girls surprised us with an additional course of sea shells, cookies, granola, and wine-flavored water. Very cute and imaginative. I sincerely enjoyed my visit from Ammeret. My day was quite stressful and emotional and I was starving for some peer-to-peer interaction. On Saturday after yoga I took off to see Tiffany in Woerden. Her host family prepared a wonderful Asian meal before we headed to the town center for some drinks and chit-chat. After some au pair ventilation and a couple rum and diets we transitioned to a "club" for young adults in the community, arranged by a volunteer committee which her host father is involved with. The small room included no more than 20 young people, a small bar, a DJ mixing crappy techno, strobe lights and a smoke machine which provided nice effects for our photosession (the wonderful photos will be posted later!!!). The bartender looked about 15, and so it was quite comical to see him pouring beer from the tap and serving. But even moreso when he started slamming beer behind the bar. After we finished our drinks we called it a night. We got up early to catch our trains and go our separate ways to church. I went to the American Protestant Church I've been attending in The Hague. I am also getting involved with the young adult group which meets on Wednesdays and Sundays after the service for Bible discussion. After discussion a group of us went to lunch in the center. I suggested Scallywags, a "gezelig" (overused Dutch word meaning cozy) little British lunchroom with a delicious menu, friendly wait-staff, and ecclectic Princess Diana inspired motif. A lovely way to end my week and prepare for a new week as an au pair.

So.........

In the weekends my au pair hat is off. When I look inside this hat of mine I analyze my life how I see it. Mostly fun and interesting, but lately stressful and wearing. I try to put all I see into a healthy perspective that will encourage sanity, inspire me to persevere through the difficult times and help build a fun, trusting and orderly environment in the household. This weekend in particular I've spent a lot of time gushing about my life to others, myself, to God and have received various insights. I feel strengthened for a new week. Wiser. A little less defeated. A little more fit to breathe properly when my lack of control suffocates me. Enough for one week, at least. I forsee daily trials in this job from here on out. But all trials triggered by outside events reflect the inner battles against myself. I say this not to be cynical, but realistic about importance of my job, which inevitably invites struggle... to eventually produce something good and useful.

I'm thankful. Thankful for this safe and loving environment I live in. The privileges at my fingertips. The great friendships I see evolving. The air I breathe. May I continue to see the world through grateful lenses.

A Week In Command, A ReTREAT, A Queen, A Show, A Goodbye, A Friend, A Purpose?

A TIMELINE
A Week In Command (Sept 7 - 12)
Week two was au pair boot camp for me. Susan went to Switzerland on business and I was almost entirely entrusted with Sergeant Greetje and Lieutenant Gabriella (I had some help from Grandma and Elody). Still, they ran me amok. Some sweet moments with the girls, but the sour moments sent me to the barracks and introduced me to a side of Kelley that I'm not well-acquainted with- impatient, irritable, defeated... There is quite a tension between being a cool, easy-going au pair and being a responsible caretaker. After a bit of a tug-of-war between the two I realize in the long run it's much more beneficial for the girls and myself if I can tighten up a bit. I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be a good disciplinarian because I'm always so concerned with being liked. Still trying to find a successful balance, but it's coming.



A ReTREAT (Sept 12 - 15)
At the end of the week I got to head out to L'abri with Herman. Took me three hours to travel approximately 80 miles. Road lesson #1: Do not drive on Dutch highways between 3:00 and 6:00 p.m. on Friday. When I arrived I immediately felt at home. This was absolutely the best setting to de-stress. Many quality interactions with dear friends and new friends. I left Eck en Wiel fully rejuvenated, hopeful and optimistic about the next week as an au pair.





An interesting exercise Robb had us do Sunday evening.
Never take your eye off the subject or lift your pen off the paper.
Let go of any expectations. Simply follow the intricate lines of the face.





A Queen (Sept 16 daytime)
Tuesday the girls were off of school for Prinsjesdag or 'Princes Day' which marks the beginning of the new parliamentary year. On this day large crowds gather near the center to watch Queen Beatrix ride in her golden carriage from her palace to the Knights Hall to make a speech about the policies the cabinet is planning to implement over the next year. I took Gab and Greetje to the center to shop and then we met Susan by her workplace (Rabobank) to watch the royal parade.





A Show (Sept 16 nightlife)
My dearest Dutchy Stefanie accompanied me to the Colbie Caillat show in Amsterdam. Colbie is pop artist from the States but much of her support comes from her Dutch fans. My friend Justin from Nashville is her stage manager. So he got us in. The venue Paradiso is an old church- intimate, stained glass windows and "Soli Deo Gloria" engraved in an archway over the stage. Colbie has a great voice, catchy songs and a talented band supporting her. I had a great time with Stef and Justin afterwards. Stef took some pictures of the show.






A Goodbye (Sept 19-20)
Elody left on Saturday. Her internship with the architecture firm ended on the 19th. She was incredibly instrumental in my smooth adjustment here. I'm grateful and fortunate that she was here in the house for my first few weeks. Not only did she help out with the children, we often enjoyed adventurous bike rides through the city center, on a search for a new place to sit and talk with a drink and perhaps a cigar or dessert. Now that she's gone I need to be a bit more proactive at finding a buddy I can share my evenings and weekends with, which is not so easy in a large Dutch city. Maybe I'll hang out in an Irish pub. They're always friendly there, right? ***Elody, thank you for an enjoyable few weeks. I hope you return next year to finish your studies here. Until then, I hope to visit you in Saint-Étienne or Paris.***





A Friend (Sept 21)
On Sunday my friend Levien visited from Utrecht. I first met him and his good friend Wouter at L'abri in October last year. We stayed in touch and the two were even able to visit me in Cape Canaveral this summer. I thoroughly enjoyed his visit on Sunday. An American church service, a simple lunch, a relaxed bike ride, the beach with its kite-covered sky, a visit to his friends, a spontaneous beer accompanied by a bundle of typical Dutch fried food, all laced with good conversation and the free spirit of a day off well earned by both parties. ***Thanks for a nice Sunday Levien***



A Purpose?
So there you have it. I've catalogued a list of events and experiences I partook in. They keep me busy, entertained, and productive, thus giving me some sense of value and self worth. Then a familiar question blasts me... What's my purpose in this life I'm living in The Hague? The "Big P" purpose is a concept I struggle with (ultimate life calling, destiny, etc) but at least (or maybe at best) I am able to discover something sacred, beautiful, telling or poignant in an ordinary moment. This is "little p" purpose. This question of purpose stirs in us all to some degree. And for those who wonder if there is such thing as a life purpose, maybe the stirring inside of you that dares to sometimes ask "is there more?" or "so what?" is proof enough that there IS more. For now, forget seeking the more you long for. Simply acknowledge that you long for it and perhaps in that very moment you are living your purpose. I personally don't know for sure what all this purpose stuff means, but I know it's innate and cannot be ignored.

(Enjoying the afternoon sun through my bedroom window)

After School Shenanigans and A Good First Week

This is what one hopes to find after leaving three eight-year-olds alone for 30 minutes with conspiring imaginations...


(Gabriella escaped from the zoo, Suzanne joined the Cirque du Soleil, and Greetje became a live TV reporter on her cardboard television)

Just a glimpse of the oh-so-sweet parts of my first official week as Au Pair. A successful week, I conclude. Much to learn about my responsibilities, the roles expected of me and new roles I'll ascertain. Right now I see a blunder of expectations in my mind, therefore driving myself a bit nuts. But I envision what my life will look like when I get settled into a routine. Similar to how it has been in any of my life settings(with the exception of a living with a family who daily depends on me). It will look like this: a mixture of busy and balanced, fun and challenging, relaxing and inspiring, with some lonesome moments, but mostly full of life and healthy interactions.

Susan has made my transition into this new life quite comfortable. She's fully welcoming, helpful and approachable. I observe her daily as "Super Mom" and she does it as a single parent. It's quite amazing. Full-time director of a bank, a wonderful mom to Greetje and foster mom to Gabriella, a hockey mom, gymnastics mom, theater mom, music mom, a wonderful home, active in the community and committees, loyal to friends and family, a host to any... and she's cool.

It's going to be a good year.

Last night the girls and their playmates planned a disco party for Susan, a friend and I in Gabriella's room...


As the winner of the Dutch word scramble my prize was an improvised dance performed by Susan and her friend. Susan chose the chicken dance in order that we were all familiar with the moves.

Oh, Pear!

I am an au pair. Here are some pictures to help you with the pronunciation:
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An open source contributor says:

The au pair title comes from the French term meaning "on a par" or "equal to", indicating that the relationship is intended to be one of equals: the au pair is intended to become a member of the family, albeit a temporary one, rather than a domestic servant. In the best circumstances, both parties benefit from learning about the other's culture.

Address:
Burnierstraat 38
2596 HW Den Haag
Netherlands



Though I've been here a total of five days, today (Monday) is my first official day on the job. The past few days consisted of getting to know the family, settling into my new home, jet lag recovery, becoming acquainted with the area on bike (the children have been excellent tour guides) and transitioning from old au pair to new. Mila, the previous au pair left Saturday for a 40 hour busride back home to the Ukraine. So now there are five of us in the house. Susan (the mom), Greetje (8-year-old daughter), Gabriella (7, almost 8-year-old foster child), Elody (21-year-old French/Dutch friend of family who is staying with us for five weeks while she interns with a local architecture firm) and I! All girls. Even Sara the anti-social cat. Except of course for Herman the Tit, the '88 Peugot 205 Susan bought for me to use from time to time. He's the only male in the family, but he stays outside on the street :)



Most days I will bike the children to school at 8:30 and pick them up at 3:00 and take them to their prospective activity for the rest of the afternoon. Which is either gymnastics, music lessons, field hockey, drama or playing at the house/friend's house until dinner time. Either Susan or I will cook. We eat dinner together, clean up and Susan spends time with the girls and puts them to bed. I am free in the evenings and on the weekends. Room and board are provided as well as insurance and many other benefits.

I am a bit spoiled at the moment with Elody here. She steps in to help in many instances: meals, playtime, cleanup, babysitting, etc. She is also very delightful company to have around and a new friend I can visit in France.


The family is wonderful. I would say so far that Susan's and my personality will get along fine. She's intelligent, generous, straight-forward, likes to drink wine, is quite funny and a bit "ATG" (against the grain). The children are creative, silly, polite and explore interests that I also enjoy. Good times are ahead.

One of the best parts about where we live is the location. Ten minutes to bike to the city center and 15 to bike to the beach. Sunday was our last day of summer and just-so-happened to also be the last day of sunshine for a while. Stefanie, my dear friend I met at L'abri who lives in Ede, came by train Sunday morning to visit a local American Protestant Church with me as well as spend the day with us all at the beach. It was a perfect day. We at lunch at Susan's brother's restaurant, we bathed in the sun, swam, and people-watched. European beaches are quite entertaining.






Goodbye Summer. Hello New Life...